I just need to let off some steam. I always go to my mom with my issues because I don't want to burden my friends, but I can't take it anymore.
So many of my friends are upset about things like boy trouble, yet they have boyfriends and/or jobs lined up for next year--aka, their lives are intact. Here I am, no offers or rejections (I know nothing, at this point) and boys barely even talk to me, and to make matters worse, I cut five inches of hair off today so I look like some 40-year-old conservative lady. In all honesty, I've always had horrible body-image issues; my new haircut is amplifying them by 100 times (as are everyone's spring-break bikini photos).
When is life going to turn up for me? I'm blessed in many ways with my friends and belongings and experiences, but it's running out. I'm near graduation and I have nothing. I'm 21 and still don't have a boyfriend and still don't have a flat-enough stomach for most tops, let alone a bikini. What's wrong with me? I literally only go out to bars and clubs because those are the only places I get attention from guys, and even though it's usually not the right kind of attention, at least it's something.
My life is just so dull and dry right now. I wake up, go to class, go home, do homework, eat, sleep, etc. With no job offer yet, it seems like there's no light at the end of the tunnel, and it feels like I'm in this deep black hole. And all of my friends have significant others to guide them through stuff like this, but I'm all alone. Again, I always question what's wrong with me.
I'm really sorry about this rant, but I just needed to vent and had nowhere else to turn. This wasn't meant to be a self-pity post; rather, I need any encouragement I can get. Emotionally, this has been one of the toughest semesters of my life.